Half Full

I've had a few issues with blogging lately, and I feel hopelessly behind. We can't seem to access any of our pictures on my lap top (which currently holds like 4 years worth of pictures), and we've been "working on it" for like 3 months now. Ugh. I have lots I want to blog about, birthdays, new puppies, baseball, and life, so as soon as I get this picture issue resolved, I will catch up. By then, I realize that those posts will be old news to you all, but after all, this blog is for my family, so I'll post them anyway!

I have always been an avid journal writer, but the last several years, I have gone from writing once a week, to once a month, to every other month! I am ashamed, I feel guilt, and I feel the need to beg my families forgiveness for not recording the goings on of our life, of their childhoods. For a long time I kept a journal in my kitchen that I would write down funny little moments or cute things the kids would say, but that too, has been pushed into a drawer somewhere I'm sure I'll come across when I get around to spring cleaning!

My heart has been telling me for weeks now that I need to be writing more, and focusing on the wonderful happy positive things about my life, my children, and being a mother. I tend to have more "glass half empty" moments than I care to admit, and when I am having one of those days, my sweet husband laughs at me, tells me he want to record me complaining about how hard my day has been, how much laundry needs to be done, how messy this house is, how the kids won't stop fighting, and how nobody will listen to me, so he can play it back in 18 years when all my babies are grown and out of the house, and I'm crying about that, and how much I miss my babies!!! Then he proceeds to do a mock female crying episode! Gotta love my Chuck!

Motherhood is a bit like giving birth I think. It is so painful, difficult, exhausting, and it's just plain a ton of work, but in the end, you forget the pain and the struggle, because in your arms is a miracle straight from God. My children are still a miracle, they are still sweet and precious, I just need to do a better, a much better job, of pausing each and every day to recognize those moments with my children. I am hoping (and praying) that by trying to be more positive, and look for the good things that happen in my day, that I will be a better mother, a better wife, and better me.

So there you have it, my blog will still be our family blog, but I am just going to be using it more like a journal, and maybe a little less like a scrap book (well at least until my picture/computer issue is resolved). If it bores you, I'm sorry. This is more for me, and my family. I need this.

Love,
Lanna
(I'm going to start signing my posts. I have always signed my journals)