Things I'm learning...

First off, I am so thankful for all of the love and support I received after my last post. The thoughtful comments and emails from family and friends really made a big difference to me. Thank you! Things have really, really improved for me as a mother over the last few months, and I have given a lot of serious thought as to what has made things seem so much better. The answer, besides the kids going back to school, is me! Not me in a conceited "I'm so great" kind of way, but me because I realized that I set the tone in my family. If I am calm, and speak like a civilised person, then my children will be less likely to scream and yell. If they are screaming and yelling, what am I teaching them if I come flying into the room and yell at them to stop screaming and yelling? My children reflect me. For good or for bad. How many hundreds of times have we heard "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? I was not treating my children the way that I would want to be treated, and my attitude stunk!

Life isn't easy. There are stresses in my life that my kids can't see, that can really effect my everyday life, but it isn't fair for me to be less of a mother because it. I have been given these amazing children to help them grow and learn and become the wonderful adults that they are meant to become. I don't want them to look back at their childhoods and say that their mom was inconsistent, yelled, and felt the need to control them. I want them to say that their mom was strong, steady, loving, and was always in their corner no matter what!
I know we go through everything for a reason. I am trying to be better today than I was yesterday. My family deserves the very best I can give them every single day.

I think I was born a procrastinator, and that is one of the things in my life I am trying to remedy. I do want to keep up on this blog, and whether of not I start a new one or not, is yet to be determined. I am committed to stay focused on what matters most in life, and keep balance so that I don't drive myself or my family nuts! I am a talker and a writer (in journals). It feels like therapy to me. If reading my thoughts and ramblings on motherhood and my family helps or entertains you, great! If not, no biggie it's helping me! I love my family more than anything, and insuring it's success is one thing I can't afford to procrastinate!

Lanna

Help Wanted!

A few weeks back I was sitting down with Chuck after a particularly difficult week with the kids, talking through my frustrations about parenting for like the umpteenth time, when I realized I was sick and tired of hearing myself complain about the same struggles over and over. You know what I'm talking about (or maybe you're a better mother than me, and you don't)

My kids don't listen to me.
Why won't they clean up after themselves?
Do I seriously have to ask 16 time to get them to do something?
Will they ever respect me, our house, or their belongings?
Why do they listen to Chuck right away, and NOT me?
Will my kids ever love each other?
Why do I yell so much?
Am I too busy being frustrated that I miss out on the good moments during the day?
Do I tell them enough positive things about themselves, or do they feel like I rail on them all dang day?
Am I a push over? (YES)

Honestly, this list could go on and on, and on! I realized sometime that night that this is my chosen career, no, it really is a calling. I love my children more than anything else, yet I feel like I am failing them on so many levels. I want nothing more than to feel like I am raising my kids to become exactly what they were meant to become, and I want to feel like I did the absolute best that I could as their mother. Right now I feel like I'm getting a C+ at best.

Last year we watched the move "Julie and Julia" where the main character cooks her way through Julia Child's cook book, and blogs about it. She was a writer, and wanted to write more, and she learned to be a great cook in the process. Someday I would love to write a book. I've had this secret desire for years, and maybe I will. Someday. Right now I'm focused on being a mom, and focused on how much I'm failing at it. Then it hit me!

What if I take the next year of my life, read all the parenting books I can get my hands on, try implementing their suggestions and advice in my own family, and blog about it! What works, what doesn't, and the crazy journey I'm going on! I think it could be therapeutic and fun! This could be like my continuing education course for motherhood. After all, don't lots of companies make their employees take classes to keep their skills sharp, and make sure that they are performing to the best of their abilities? If I was my own boss, there would be days that I would put myself on unpaid administrative leave! Seriously, I can't keep pretending that "someday" it will all work out, and that my kids will turn out perfectly and I will be a total success as a mother. If I want this (and I do!), then I need to work at it! Going back to school isn't an option of me right now, so I need to do this myself.

What I need help deciding is, do I start a new blog for this, or do I just use our family blog? If I start a new blog, what do I call it? These are a few ideas I've had....

1.Motherhood: In over my head and learning how to swim.
2.The Motherhood Experiment: The Good, The Bad, and The Honest.
3.Motherhood. Seriously?
4.Motherhood. Did anyone see where I left the instructions for these kids?
5.Motherhood: In it for the long haul.
6.Motherhood: I think I can? I know I can!
7.The perfect Mother (Yeah right!)
8.Motherhood: They forgot to mention ANY of this in the birthing classes!

I would love some feedback from those of you who read my blog (when I actually post something).

I know I need to get on my knees and beg for some heavenly help. After all, these are His children. He knows them better than I do, and he also knows me, and what help I need. I can't help but feel like this idea wasn't my own, and that I won't be alone on this journey.

Love,
Lanna

Valentines Day

Monday started off worse than most Mondays at our house. The kids were being above and beyond crazy with all their fighting and yelling, and I, the Mom completely lost my temper with them. They were unloading the dishwasher for me before school, and couldn't seem to do this simple task with out wanting to kill each other! As I stood at the top of the stairs and gazed at my house that never got fully cleaned up after dinner the night before, I did it, I give them the best example of all, and yelled at them to stop yelling and fighting! Really? Wow, it's hard to suck this much as a mother!

Needless to day, I felt guilt all dang day long! Why is raising kids the hardest job on the planet??? It is the most, the very most important thing I will ever do. I know this, but forget all too often. It was time to redeem myself.

Chuck and I had decided several weeks ago that we would celebrate Valentines day with the kids instead of going out. I ran around all day getting everything for our dinner. I was spending soooo much more on dinner than usual, so I didn't go all out on the decorations or treats for the kids, just did a few special things with what I had around the house. When the kids came home from school, they were so surprised at the table, that they were good as gold, and so excited for dinner! It made me grateful I went to the extra effort that day, especially with all the mommy guilt I had been dealing with.We had crab legs, my favorite, and something I maybe have once a year. I knew the boys would love it, but wasn't so sure about the girls, but they loved it all! Chuck would crack a leg, and then Ava would sit there with her mouth open asking for more crab daddy! I wanted to take pictures of the kids eating it, but my hands were sooooo messy from the crab, that I chose to enjoy my special dinner with those I love rather than be the photographer! We got a few after shots of the mess, and can I just tell you how yummy crab is, but how absolutely horrid it makes your house smell!!

We had a great Valentines day in the end. I feel so blessed and lucky to have Chuck in my life. I can't imagine going through this parenting adventure with anyone else! As far as the kids go, I'm glad they are quick to forgive and love their imperfect mother. What would I do with out them? Sure, my house would be much, much cleaner, but I would have four huge holes in my heart that nothing could ever fill.

Love to you all,
Lanna
P.S. Pictures to be added soon:)

Rear View Mirror

Today while I was driving with Ava, I glanced in my rear view mirror at a stop sigh because she was babbling about something that was making her laugh, and I caught a glimpse of myself smiling back at her. Me, 33 years old looking at the face of my precious daughter, her big grin, so big in fact that her nose was all squished! I think this is what I had always hoped 33 would look like. Four amazing kids, a husband who believes he married up, me thinking the same about him, just living our life the best we know how, and learning and growing along every step of the way. Is our life perfect? No way, but this is our life, and I feel blessed beyond measure to have it. 

Maybe I'm just feeling over sentimental today. Yesterday I took down Ava's crib, and while I'm so excited to move forward in our parenting adventure, I'm sad to say good bye to the "baby" phase of our life. That crib has held all of my babies for thousands of nights while they dreamt and grew. That is the place I have gone to pick them up and rock them back to sleep if they woke in the night, and the place I scooped them up in the morning ready for the new day. I love my children. Who they were, and who they are becoming. Daily I laugh with them, talk with them, sometimes yell at them, but always they know they are loved. And I love that they are mine...well sort of. 

I don't know about others, but I often feel so inadequate at my abilities as a parent. I can't believe that Heavenly Father has in trusted me (and Chuck) with these amazing kids. I pray I am doing enough right.

So yes, this is me at 33, still no where close to perfect, still a crappy blogger, still trying to keep up with demands on me, and find the joy that is always there in my day. It may be a fleeting moment, a slobbery kiss, or an "please one more bed time story" plea, but it's there if I take the time to see it, just like I did today in my rear view mirror.

Love,
Lanna

Half Full

I've had a few issues with blogging lately, and I feel hopelessly behind. We can't seem to access any of our pictures on my lap top (which currently holds like 4 years worth of pictures), and we've been "working on it" for like 3 months now. Ugh. I have lots I want to blog about, birthdays, new puppies, baseball, and life, so as soon as I get this picture issue resolved, I will catch up. By then, I realize that those posts will be old news to you all, but after all, this blog is for my family, so I'll post them anyway!

I have always been an avid journal writer, but the last several years, I have gone from writing once a week, to once a month, to every other month! I am ashamed, I feel guilt, and I feel the need to beg my families forgiveness for not recording the goings on of our life, of their childhoods. For a long time I kept a journal in my kitchen that I would write down funny little moments or cute things the kids would say, but that too, has been pushed into a drawer somewhere I'm sure I'll come across when I get around to spring cleaning!

My heart has been telling me for weeks now that I need to be writing more, and focusing on the wonderful happy positive things about my life, my children, and being a mother. I tend to have more "glass half empty" moments than I care to admit, and when I am having one of those days, my sweet husband laughs at me, tells me he want to record me complaining about how hard my day has been, how much laundry needs to be done, how messy this house is, how the kids won't stop fighting, and how nobody will listen to me, so he can play it back in 18 years when all my babies are grown and out of the house, and I'm crying about that, and how much I miss my babies!!! Then he proceeds to do a mock female crying episode! Gotta love my Chuck!

Motherhood is a bit like giving birth I think. It is so painful, difficult, exhausting, and it's just plain a ton of work, but in the end, you forget the pain and the struggle, because in your arms is a miracle straight from God. My children are still a miracle, they are still sweet and precious, I just need to do a better, a much better job, of pausing each and every day to recognize those moments with my children. I am hoping (and praying) that by trying to be more positive, and look for the good things that happen in my day, that I will be a better mother, a better wife, and better me.

So there you have it, my blog will still be our family blog, but I am just going to be using it more like a journal, and maybe a little less like a scrap book (well at least until my picture/computer issue is resolved). If it bores you, I'm sorry. This is more for me, and my family. I need this.

Love,
Lanna
(I'm going to start signing my posts. I have always signed my journals)

Out to Lunch

Today we went out to lunch together as a family (just the adults) to celebrate Mother's Day and Anyssa's 29th (wink, wink) birthday! It was a treat being together and being able to finish a conversation! I'm glad we took a quick minute to take a few pictures.

Anyssa, Marya, Me, My mom Pam, and my Dad's mom Helen

And in this shot we added my brother's Jon and David, and my dad Tom.

Thanks Mom and Dad for treating us to lunch it was fun!

Love,

Lanna

Grandpa George's Funeral

We had my Grandpa George's funeral on May 6th. It was a very beautiful and sacred day for our family. My brother David gave the eulogy, and did a fantastic job paying tribute to such a great man. He had us all laughing and crying, which I think Grandpa would have liked. I never really knew until that day what a hand our Heavenly Father had in his life. I never knew what a strong testimony he had of the Savior until David read what he had written on the inside cover of the pocket bible he carried with him everyday of the war. His life was spared more than once. He was good, honest, hard working and a loving man. I am grateful he lived a long life he could be proud of.

Watching the Solders fold the flag over my grandpa's casket, while Taps was being played on the trumpet was so powerful. To think of all that my grandfather experienced in his life, all he saw, and sacrificed for his family and his country.


It was such a solemn moment that day.


The headstone of my Grandma Ruth and Grandpa George. I'm grateful that after all this time, they are together again.

My Mom sharing a quiet moment with some of her grandchildren after the grave side service.



It was great to all be together as a family to remember Grandpa. My sisters Marya and Anyssa were both able to fly into town to be there, and I know that meant a lot to my mom. Looking through all the old photos was also so neat. It doesn't seem like that long ago when I was the little girl in those photos. Now I have children of my own, and can see their sweet faces in those snapshots from the past. Time goes so quickly. I pray that I am making wise use of the time that I have. I want to leave a great legacy for my children and grandchildren, just like my grandpa did. I am so grateful for the family that I have, and for the blessing they are to me each and every day.

Love,

Lanna

Grandpa George

Today my Grandpa George passed away. He was 94 years old. He has been quite frail and sick for sometime, so his passing was a welcomed blessing. I had the chance to visit him one last time with my mom last Sunday. She called me up as I was giving the girls their bath, and said she was going to visit Grandpa, and she would be to my place in 20 min. to pick me up. She never does things like this. I know she was inspired. It was so hard to see Grandpa that day. He was a tall man in his prime at six two, and 185 lbs. Last Sunday, he was somewhere around 110 lbs., could barely sit in a wheel chair, let alone stand. My heart just ached for him. I could see the pain he was in, especially when a nurse had to help lift him up in his wheel chair. He just winced in pain. How could you not when all you have left is skin and bones. In the weeks before his passing the nurses said he had been asking where his wife was. They explained as kindly as they could that she had been gone for almost 30 years. Another time, the nurses caught him acting out (as if playing charades) like he was reeling in a fish. Fishing was a beloved past time of his that he had been unable to do for many years due to the effects of Parkinson's and old age. My Aunt Shelly works as a nurse in a nursing home, and said that when people are close to passing, they no longer look ahead in their lives, they look back. I hope the memories that played back in his mind were ones that brought him peace and joy and comfort. I hope he didn't have any regrets, and that he knew in his heart and in his mind what a kind, gentle man he was, and what a great life he lead.

I love him for the sweet Grandfather he was to me. He often emptied his pockets of gum and loose change, and let me have it all. I remember rolling down the huge hill in his back yard as a child, and rummaging through my Grandma Ruth's old Avon inventory. I always came upstairs with a treasure or two (usually a rancid lipstick or perfume sample, or a nail polish color my grandma couldn't even sell years before), and he always let me keep my loot. I think that is where my love of all things make up stemmed from! I have fond memories of the house he lived in most of his life. I can still see the gold fuzzy wallpaper, and green carpet, and hear the cheeks in the floor. I remember the bench he had in his entry way filled with old toys, which most likely contained lead paint, but they provied hours of entertainment, and I turned out okay-lead paint and all! He sold the house a few years back so he could be in a care facility. I know it was so hard for him to leave that house. I helped move some of his things out, and the house felt like a time capsule for his life. In the upstairs attack, we pulled out a trunk that had his World War II Navy uniform in it. I can't help but think of how handsome he was with his thick black hair in his navy pictures. The furniture, for the most part, was stuff that had been there since my mom was a child. I did love going up to the attack rooms that had been hers and finding old trinkets from her past. I would comb through the old magazines, and open drawers hoping to find things that had belonged to my mom or her sisters all those years back. When I think of my Grandpa, the Grandpa I knew as a child, I think of that house. I think the day he moved from that house, and knew he would never be back, he lost a part of himself.

In the years since I've been married, I think my grandpa loved Chuck more that he loved me. Whenever he called the house, he talked to me for a minute or two (on a good day), and then ask if Chuck was home! He wanted to know all about my husband's latest hunting or fishing trips, and then he wanted to talk about his guns! He had a gun cabinet that had been moved to my parents house after he moved from his house, and he always wanted to know how his guns were! He loved my kids, and often said how handsome my boys were, and how my girls looked like I did. When he met Callie for the first time, he kept calling her little Ruthie. We named her Callie Ruth after my grandma, his wife.

My parents went to see him last night. He was having a hard time breathing and swallowing. He kept a tight grip on my mom's hand, and told her he wanted to go. My Mom told him that he should, that everyone was waiting for him on the other side. I am so grateful that I know he is with my Grandma Ruth, and his parents and other family members. I know that he is not gone, but that he has just passed. Passed to the other side, and someday he will welcome me with open arms, along with my other family members who have gone before me. I pray that I too can live a long full life just like my Grandpa George.

Recital

Callie had her dance recital yesterday, and it has to be one of her favorite days of the whole year! This year she did both a tap and ballet performance. Her tap song was ABC by the Jackson Five, and her Ballet song was Good Luck Charm by Elvis! There is nothing cuter than a little girl dancing her heart out on stage! Way to go Callie!

Chuck struggles when she is all gussied up, he says she looks like she is 16! Callie, on the other hand loves to wear make up and have her hair all done up! Either way, we think she is beautiful!

Love,

Lanna

Introducing Wilson

Could you just eat him up or what?!!

The month of April this year has been all about this little guy! His name is Wilson! He is our new German Short hair Pointer, and the new love in my husbands life! He is quite adorable, and it's a dang good thing, because puppies are a ridiculous amount of work!

Dallin with the tired pup!

Ava was obsessed with his kennel! When he was in, she wanted him out, and when he was out, she wanted him in! I think it was the door!

Callie and Grant wanted to spend every minute they could with him, even if he was crashed out for a nap!

Puppy kisses!


The proud new papa!

All in all, Wilson has been a fun new addition to our family. It was one of the happiest days of my life when he figured out that he didn't need to pee all over my floor 8 times a day, but could actually pee in this nice soft stuff called grass! Yes, he has chewed and eaten tons, and even broken our flat screen TV (that's another post!), but in spite of all that, he is a good dog, and the kids and my husband love him! And yes, I too love our 5th four legged child! Here we go starting another crazy chapter in our families life!

Love,

Lanna

If There is Winter in Heaven....

It will look just like this!

We woke up to this last Saturday, and it just felt magical! The kids couldn't believe how beautiful all the trees were, and I could hardly keep my eyes off it all. I took several pictures as Callie and I headed off to dance class, and thankfully brought my camera with to capture this most amazing of winter days. I loved that this was the day before Valentine's Day. It felt like an early "I love you" present from Heavenly Father.

Callie and I stopped at the historical farm near our house on our way home. The farm was breathtaking! It really felt like something on a postcard! I showed Callie the tiny snowflakes as they landed on the sleeve my black wool coat. I wish I could have captured her little face as she realized that real snowflakes were more beautiful than ones cut out of paper.

Days like this help me see all of the positives to why I live in Minnesota. The winters here do get a bit long to say the least, but waking up to this peaceful winter surprise, makes all the below zero days tolerable! This by far, was one of my most favorite winter days.

And I got to share it all with this beauty.

My Kids Say

...And do the sweetest and darnedest things! For a while I had a journal sitting in my kitchen specifically devoted to writing down all of the funny, and cute things they said and did. I'm not quite sure how I fell out of habit with that one. The past few weeks there have been a few note worthy things.

About three weeks ago, we were going to be having a particularly busy day. The night before, Chuck was telling Dallin that we needed to get up early in the morning to get things going, and that we were all going to get up early, even mom. To which Dallin replied, "yea, I'd like to see that!" What the heck, I know I'm not a morning person, but I do get up in the mornings ya know! I'm usually up late folding laundry, cleaning up, reading a book, or heaven forbid enjoying my quiet, sleeping house! Chuck reminds me quite often, that seminary is truly right around the corner, and that I'll have to get up and drive Dallin. I'll cross that bridge when it gets here!

Callie is my little shadow. Where ever I go, there she is. She often talks about all the things she wants to be when she grows up. Top on her list lately has been a doctor, a teenager, and a mom! In most of our daily conversations, she always makes sure to include "someday when I'm a mama just like you, I'm gonna....", or "when do I get to be a mom?" It really does totally melt my heart. It makes me feel like I must be doing something right if my little girl wants to grow up just like me. It also makes me so very aware of what I am teaching her, not only with what I say, but by what I do. Her sweet little comments make me want to be a better mom, and hopefully someday, she will be a better mother than I am.

Grant is the sweetest, kindest little kid. Sure he has him moments, I'm not gonna lie, but for the most part, he goes out of his way to please. We had parent teacher conferences last week, and he was getting glowing reviews in everything. As he sat there, he was just looking at his teacher with this puppy dog look on his face, saying how he wanted her to teach him harder math problems, because he really wanted to "educate" himself, and learn more (he must have used that line three times during our conference!). It was all Mrs. Levy could do to talk to him without smiling too big with the use of his big grown up terms! I think Grant is gonna cry on the last day of 2nd grade.

Ava, aka wiggle, has been talking up a storm lately, and is an endless source of entertainment. Today when the kids got home from school with all of their Valentines candy, she dropped the "f" bomb while trying her best to say sucker. The boys laughed, and I quickly explained that she didn't know what she was saying! And Chuck, my dear sweet Chuck, thought it ever so funny to teach her the word "boobs" a few months back. She hasn't forgotten that word (and it doesn't help that he keeps reminding her of it either!). She now says "boops" or "bupes" or my favorite is when I hold her, I get a little squeeze as she says "mom's boops"! Oh her latest is lifting up her own shirt and saying "Ava's boop's?" Yesterday while Callie was filling out her Barbie Valentines, writing "FORM CALLIE" on all of them, Ava so proudly pointed out all of the Barbies and their "boops" to which Callie shockingly told me that she was saying a grown up private word, and proceeded to scold Ava! Thanks Chuck! Don't you think we're going to have enough "boob" talk in this house in a few years with 2 teenage girls?

So there you have it, a few things that have stuck out in my mind the last little while. I LOVE being a mom, and I love when it is entertaining too! It makes those difficult days a bit easier.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve we kept it simple and low stress. I made a big pot of chicken wild rice soup, homemade split pea and ham soup, and baked up a pan of rodes dinner rolls. It was warm and comforting, especially since it was snowing like crazy out. I felt like we were inside a snow globe that had just gotten shaken! This by far was the whitest Christmas we have ever had in our married life. It was actually very peaceful and magical. Emily brought over sugar cookies for the kids to decorate, and then we just relaxed and visited gearing up for the festivities the next day.

This girl adores her Uncle Dave!
Bethany, Dallin (picking caramel out of his teeth), and Callie

Bethany Joy!

G.T.

Sarah V.!

Dallin

Later that night we tucked our kids into bed with visions of Xboxes and Barbies dancing in their heads. We put the gifts around the tree, and made sure to leave room for Santa's delivery later in the night. Unfortunately it snowed so much during the night, that it covered up all of the reindeer hoof prints....there is always next year!

What we woke up to on Christmas morning, and that was after we shoveled two times on Christmas eve!

Behind, Behind, Behind!!!

I feel like this has been the story of my life since November! I went to write in my journal a few nights ago, realizing that it had been awhile, and just about fell off of my bed when I realized, to my horror, that my last entry was October 30th! OCTOBER 30th people! What kind of a mother am I? I'm not going to remember all of the fun, crazy, sweet, and memorable thing that have happened in our family if I don't do a better job of recording them! Then the "mom guilt" set in, but I'm pretty accustomed to that feeling, it seems to set in about every other day for something or another! I felt bad that I haven't kept up better on the blog, so I am going to try and recap a bit of what has happened in our family in the past two months, like Christmas, what kind of a mother neglects to document Christmas for her kids! I think I need an intervention, and possibly a pedicure!

Our Tree

As soon as the turkey was put away on Thanksgiving, we quickly made plans to cut down our family's Christmas tree. There is nothing like the smell of a fresh cut tree to get you in the spirit of the season, and our kids love this tradition almost as much as they love Christmas it's self! Last year we did a coin toss, and the kids won and chose a big round tree that took up half of my living room. I wanted a tall narrow tree, and this year I got my wish! We found the most symmetrical, tall beautiful tree, it almost looked fake! This was possibly our most favorite tree yet!

The day was bright and sunny, and not too cold yet (at least by Minnesota standards). After we cut down the tree, it was off for some cider, a hay ride, and a visit with the animals. Ava was squealing with delight and excitement at all of the animals! She was even getting smiles and laughs, and "oh she is so cute" comments from all of the other visitors! I love seeing her discover and experience things for the first time. Who knew farm animals could be so funny?!

After a long weekend of decorating, the tree and the house were ready for Christmas! (I neglected to take pictures of the rest of the house, and since I'm two month behind on this post, you'll just have to take my word for it that it looked good:) The girls redecorated the bottom half of the tree daily, which I suppose added to it's charm. I often heard Ava say, "ook Mom, pitty!", and it was!

She Did It!

I told Callie that once she was five, she could get her ears pierced if she wanted to. I figured that by that age, she would be able to fully understand that it would hurt a little bit, and that the piercings needed to be carefully taken care of everyday for six weeks. Her birthday came and went, and she talked about it some, but went back and forth with her decision, so we waited. In mid December she talked about it again, and really felt like she was ready, so off we went to Claire's! With teddy bear in hand for added comfort, she did it!

Before...
During...(I'm so glad that they did both ears at once!)
After... Admiring her new earrings!

You can tell by the face she is making, that she was hurting, but she was so brave, and didn't shed a single tear! Beauty hurts sister, get used to it!

Grant came with us, and was quite impressed with how great she did! I think having a bit of an audience helped her gather the courage she needed! We're proud of you sis! You're such a girlie girl, now you have the pink flower earrings to prove it!

Channeling Kate Gosselin

Ava work up with some pretty sweet bed head yesterday.

I'm thinking she is channeling Kate Gosselin with that hair, what do you think? At least Ava is just cute, and not crazy!

I love that my kids make me smile and laugh everyday, and this made me laugh out loud!

So this is what 32 looks like.

I turned 32 this past Saturday, and I have to admit I feel a bit old. I have started to notice the past few months that my face is starting to change, especially my eyes. I'm getting some wrinkles, and it makes me sad! I know I will get old eventually, I just didn't know eventually was starting now! Oh well.

I did get woken up with breakfast in bed, and the kids sang to me as they delivered my eggs, Canadian bacon, English muffin, and diet coke with a giant lemon wedge (my kids know me so well!). It was very sweet! In fact, Ava has been singing her version of Happy Birthday ever since. She just says "happy you you, happy you you" over and over! I LOVE her version!

It was Saturday business as usual with dance class, birthday parties, and house cleaning, but it was still a great day. Chuck and I went out to dinner, which is always a treat, then off to a company party for one of his clients, and then we ended my birthday date by seeing "The Blind Side". It was such a great movie, and I can't wait to see it again!

Chuck and I outside the restaurant after dinner

I have so much to be thankful for. I love my life. I love my amazing, hard working, funny husband who is always making me laugh (I am often rolling my eyes at the same time too, but that's okay)! I love my four children. In all my life I've never wanted anything more than to be a mother. They keep me on my toes, they keep me humble, they keep me laughing, they keep me prayerful, they are forever mine, and I love that.

So if this is what 32 looks like, then I'm okay with that. I've accomplished a lot for my age, and I have lots more I plan to do. All these plans are gonna take time, which means I'll get older and have more wrinkles, but so be it!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving this year, we didn't have a huge crowd. We had my parents, my 91 year old grandmother, and my 94 year old grandfather, some friends from church, their son, and our family. That's 13 total, 8 adults, and 5 kids, but you would have thought we were having 35 people with he amount of food my mom and I prepared! Then again, I can't seem to recall a Thanksgiving in my lifetime where we have run out of food, and well, that is something to be thankful for! All week long Callie asked if we were going to have a "feast" for Thanksgiving. I told her yes, and she wanted to know how big, and for how many days! She said our blessing before we ate, and thanked Heavenly Father for our yummy feast, and bless our big feast, it was very sweet! And feast we did, and it lasted all weekend long (if you count the eating of leftovers!).

To be honest, I was so tired from all of the prep and cooking, and cleaning, that I pretty much failed to get good pictures that day, but the food was delish if I do say so myself! Even Chuck commented at how great everything was, and that when we were first married how I used to worry that I would never be that good of a cook, and look at me now! That was a very sweet compliment!

I did get a few good pictures of my Mom with the girls, and this one of her and Ava, made me stop and really be grateful for her not only as my mom, but for her as the grandmother of my children.

My mom's mom died when I was 3 1/2. I have two memories of her. One was the Christmas before she died, and one was her funeral. She died of lung cancer. Smoking not only robbed her of her life, but it robbed me of a chance to know and love my grandma Ruth. I do love her, and know that someday I will get the chance to be with her again. I am so deeply grateful for all of the amazing people in my life. Not only do I have an amazing husband, and four healthy beautiful children, but we have an awesome extended family that gives us so much love and support! I do feel sad that we can't live near everyone, we especially miss Chucks parents in Utah and Oregon. They are such a source of strength and love to us and our family. Our kids miss them so much, and so do we.

I have a quote that hangs over my kitchen sink, it says," The love of a family is life's greatest blessing". I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and for the love of my family, both near and far, and even those who have gone before us. I am so blessed! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends, and that you took a few moments to count your blessing!

This is Why....

I LOVE my job! I have four beautiful, amazing, fun, and vibrant children! I have been so blessed. As long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. Somedays are easier than others, but I know that I am learning things as a mother that I could not have learned any other way. I am grateful that I have a husband who works so hard, and supports me staying home with our children.

Yesterday, I picked up my camera and snapped some pictures of a few moments that brought me joy. It made me stop, slow down, and be grateful for my life.

Callie was holding Ava on her lap in the kitchen, and playing with her. She is such a little mama.

Kisses, so sweet.

Ava saying "aside", looking out the back window!

Ava saying, "pleeeeease", pointing outside!

Letting Mom steal a kiss.

Tickles when they can't escape are the best!

My big girl! Man, has she grown.

Nose tickles with my girl.

Real kisses with my girl!

Grant scooping up Ava and giving her an after school tickle!

Dallin, refusing to smile for a picture, because his is too busy stuffing his face with lunch meat!

He was "starving" I might add.

I tell you, this boy is growing before my very eyes. No wonder my grocery bill is so dang high!!

Stop. Stop growing up so fast my babies I tell you, stop!

Everyday there is joy. It's the little things. I don't need to look very far to find it. Being their mom is one of my greatest joys!

I love you Dallin,

Grant,

Callie,

& Ava.

Mom